Waiting in the Son

Sitting in the sun

Trying to understand where everything

Went so wrong

I followed my heart

When my head always told me something

Different

I gave up so much

To have the life I dreamt of

So much hard work

So much sorrow

So much questioning who I really am

I am not perfect

In fact, I have lots of imperfections

But I made a promise

And I tried my best

But every day seemed like a test

I’ve never lived up to expectations

But I lived the best I could

I was imperfect

And that imperfection became a broken

Soul

I stuck myself with needles

I tried hard to make a baby grow inside of me

I wanted someone who came from me

To prove I was worthy

Worthy of passing on life

Worthy of being a wife

I learned to love

Like I never had learned before

To give, and share, and be as vulnerable as I knew how to be

But I was damaged beyond repair

And what I had to offer

Was never good enough

I suffered in silence

The worst place to be when your heart

Yearns for more

More than you ever had before

I sit in the sun

Waiting on my son

He may not have come from me

But we are part of each other

I look at him and know

All the sorrow was worth the pain

But broken love I still cannot explain