Sitting in the sun
Trying to understand where everything
Went so wrong
I followed my heart
When my head always told me something
Different
I gave up so much
To have the life I dreamt of
So much hard work
So much sorrow
So much questioning who I really am
I am not perfect
In fact, I have lots of imperfections
But I made a promise
And I tried my best
But every day seemed like a test
I’ve never lived up to expectations
But I lived the best I could
I was imperfect
And that imperfection became a broken
Soul
I stuck myself with needles
I tried hard to make a baby grow inside of me
I wanted someone who came from me
To prove I was worthy
Worthy of passing on life
Worthy of being a wife
I learned to love
Like I never had learned before
To give, and share, and be as vulnerable as I knew how to be
But I was damaged beyond repair
And what I had to offer
Was never good enough
I suffered in silence
The worst place to be when your heart
Yearns for more
More than you ever had before
I sit in the sun
Waiting on my son
He may not have come from me
But we are part of each other
I look at him and know
All the sorrow was worth the pain
But broken love I still cannot explain