• pamz27

Where is my quiet depression when I need it




I had an outburst

Like I’ve never had before

I scared myself

I yelled; I was aggressive

I felt possessed by anger

Overwhelmed by fear

Who am I

I hate that person with every bead of blood that flows through my body

I do not want to be that person

I stood alongside that person and thought, she is no friend of mine

STOP PAUSE HALT PROS/CONS WISEMIND GIVE Where are you

If getting to feel means feeling angry

I do not want to feel

The day had disappointments

But not big ones

How have I become this person

The person my whole life I tried not to be

Locked windows

No Starbucks

No milkshakes

These are not catastrophes

COVID-19, that is a catastrophe

Someone leaping from a window, that is a catastrophe

I am turning into a person I despise

Go away anger

Bring back the calm

I’d rather be numb

Then angry All I have learned in recovery

Is anger

Bring back my quiet depression




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