I had an outburst
Like I’ve never had before
I scared myself
I yelled; I was aggressive
I felt possessed by anger
Overwhelmed by fear
Who am I
I hate that person with every bead of blood that flows through my body
I do not want to be that person
I stood alongside that person and thought, she is no friend of mine
STOP PAUSE HALT PROS/CONS WISEMIND GIVE Where are you
If getting to feel means feeling angry
I do not want to feel
The day had disappointments
But not big ones
How have I become this person
The person my whole life I tried not to be
Locked windows
No Starbucks
No milkshakes
These are not catastrophes
COVID-19, that is a catastrophe
Someone leaping from a window, that is a catastrophe
I am turning into a person I despise
Go away anger
Bring back the calm
I’d rather be numb
Then angry All I have learned in recovery
Is anger
Bring back my quiet depression