• pamz27

Incompatible Lovers

Updated: Dec 30, 2020


It was a flight that changed my life

I would find my wife

I would live in strife

I would discover love and loss

I would get stuck in clunky moss

I discovered my albatross


Our eyes kept meeting

My heart kept fluttering

We had drinks and touched each other’s hands

We stood under a bridge

You tried to convince me that one kiss meant nothing

A kiss was just a kiss


That one kiss meant everything

It turned my life upside down

I went from being lonely to in love in no time flat

Now I had another secret to hide

I spilled my soul

Our kiss took a toll


We lived on the other side of the world

And I was happy

I still had two lives, one at work and one at home

But for the first time they were equal

I was writing my sequel

My life would bounce between gleeful and upheaval


I snuck away for long lunches

We stayed in bed for extra hours

In no time at all

You moved in

And I was happy


We shared everything

Explored the unknown

Laid on the beach late at night

Shared more than I knew

Cried when we thought our time together had come to an end

You were my best friend

The one person whom I could depend


But we did not let go

We were committed

And finally, I came home

To try and find happiness in the light of day

I find a home where I wanted to stay


I struggled to know who I was

I struggled to know who you were

We lived together

We lived apart

We tried many times to let our hearts take the lead

Neither of us wanted to mislead


I was still living two lives

No one can succeed for very long living two lives

Eventually the lies invade the happiness

And a once happy heart

Feels the sting of pain

You must make a choice

To say goodbye or live and rejoice


So, I shared my secret with my family to try and find balance

They did not accept you

But I only knew happiness with you

I fought so hard

But I could never live up to your expectations

Old habits just find new homes

But I kept on fighting to be the person you wanted

I tried the best I could

But it was never enough

But still I tried until I cried

And cried

And cried


At our best we fought alongside each other for what was right

For what was ours to own

My family kept tearing us down

I embarrassed them in a way they could not accept

The invalidation was too much

For me to bear

I was scared

But I kept fighting for my heart

I wanted a brand-new start


We stood looking out at Lady Liberty

A symbol of hope

A brand-new start

I gave you my hand

You asked me to hold it forever

At least that is what I thought

And I said yes

To a brand-new start


But all girls need a ring

So, I took you to Brooklyn

And we looked at the Lady from the other side

I said we may always see things differently at first glance

But this ring says let’s take the chance

Because love is love

And we can fight

For the right

To be happy


We planned the perfect wedding

A weekend in the fall mountain air

A beautiful setting to show we care


Some family were not on our side

But we fought through the pain

To exchange our vows

Declare our love

To prove to the world

That hate would not intimidate


We played games

Sat by the fire

Had our hair done up

And the taken down


We had no one to walk us down an aisle

So, we took our vows in the round

We stood before our friends and family

And made a promise

A promise I never broke

But in some ways

I always knew

You never meant forever

Never ever whatsoever


I cried when the ceremony was done

I thought I was crying because my parents weren’t there

Maybe in hindsight

I had foresight

Of the end

That I would not be able to mend


Nonetheless that night we danced

Girls just want to have fun

We danced so two could become one


We had many good years to follow

My heart was full

I lived a life out in the open for the very first time

I forgot about my secrets

I was playful

I was in love

I was loved


We started a family

It was not easy

But it was worth all the struggles

We went from two to four

I was living the dream

Our house was filled with laughter

I was hoping for happily ever after


We took a second vow

This time we knew how

Family still struggled

But we just snuggled

In our happiness

And the glow of love

But the glow only shed light

On the fight

That was to come


I worked really hard during this time

I was trying to create the most opportunities for our family

I didn’t realize what a mistake I was making

I thought I was working for my family

It turned out I was working against my family

I did not know it

I could not hear it

I did not understand it


Turns out I was more an observer of my family

Then a participant in it

But I was happy

I did not know how to interact

I never learned

But I loved watching and being part of a family

It’s the only thing I ever wanted in life

I thought life was perfect

But it was not as I reflect


Perfect does not exist

Perfect implies that the same ideal is exactly right for everyone

But just like we made a promise from two side of Lady Liberty

And saw two different versions of perfection

Neither was true for the other

I thought through pure desire

And the power of a common vision

We could find middle ground

But that was not to be found

My ground turned one way

Yours the other

They never stopped on the same spot at the same time

We passed each other like strangers

The more our spheres circled away from each other

The harder it was to hear each other

We never yelled

We lived in quiet fear

Watching a dream disappear


We will each say we tried

I do not know if that is true

If we each tried

We could not align our souls

We must have had different goals


As painful as coming together was twenty years earlier

Tearing apart was much harder

Building is filled with hope

Disassembling is filled with regret

Building is filled with compassion

Disassembling is filled with fear

Building is filled with freedom

Disassembling is filled with loneliness

I can remember the love

I still feel the love in all the hate


I am so lonely

So scared

So sad

So mad


I think about standing under the bridge

I wonder what would have happened if I walked away from the kiss

The pain almost makes we wish I had

Then I wouldn’t be so sad

So mad`


When will my pain disappear

It seems like you never felt sad

Or had regrets

For breaking apart our family

What do I not see

How do I not know how to look ahead

How could I have so badly misread

You


I believe in forever

You believe in now

The two are not compatible lovers

Pain is all the hovers


Over my head

There is so much unsaid

I love you still today

I wish this ended a different way


24 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

The call