The emptiness created by childhood sexual abuse
I have always felt broken
Like a body cut in two
My body never feels right
It always fells like it’s in a fight
It’s in a fight
Between good and bad
Right and wrong
Weak and strong
It broke when I was a little girl
Not like broken bones
Much more painful than that
My soul broke
My body had a stroke
I could not feel
Or move the different parts
It broke from within
Like I had committed a sin
I was just nine when my body died
I was never able to make it alive
I could not feel
I could not heal
I tried to love
But my body did not respond
I just laid there as if I was numb
I felt so dumb
I tried to create life
But my body knew
You can not grow something inside
When you body is broken
It is a graveyard
Where things go to die
No matter how much I wanted to try
I was only able to cry
When your body is broken
You feel defeated
Like nothing good could never come
You must just succumb
To emptiness
It is a place where love goes to die
Where happiness cannot live
Where babies will not grow
Where vows do not sustain
Where all there is, is pain
That little girl tried so hard
Just to live
Just to be
She turned into an adult
That was scared to see
The reality that was me